“You do realize this all sounds
like a paranoid fantasy, don’t you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer as she
continued. “Just how much of what we had is real and how much is because of
this?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Sometimes
I don’t know. My whole life changed forty years ago. I basically threw away the
life I had back then and began a new one, all of it focused on this day. There
were only two things I took from my old life. One was my relationship with my
sister. She supported me and provided a cover story for me by agreeing to raise
‘my’ baby. The other thing was my feelings for you. I was still in love with
you and thought perhaps this was what we needed to be together. I carried those
thoughts with me for forty years, and when I first started here it tore me
apart. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I also needed to access the data and
I didn’t know if you would believe me. I finally decided I couldn’t be selfish
enough to risk losing access to the data and so I didn’t tell you the truth. I
even hesitated about starting up a relationship with you again, afraid it would
compromise my objectivity.”
“But you did,” Olivia said softly.
Ryan nodded. “Yes I did. I really wanted to and while
I could list dozens of reasons why I shouldn’t, I was able to rationalize every
single one of them away.” He paused and laughed. “I still remember that comment
you made years ago, that the ability to rationalize terrible decisions was what
really separated humans from animals.”
“Does that mean you think it was a terrible
decision?”
He shook his head. “No, not at all. For a few weeks I
thought I was in heaven. I had the perfect job, excellent staff and was with
the woman I loved. But then all that changed.”
“After we made love.”
It wasn’t exactly a question but he answered it
anyway. “Yes, after we made love. Something happened then that made me realize
I wasn’t in love with you anymore. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s
what happened. I realized I was in love with the you from forty years ago, and
that too much had changed since then. You had changed, my entire life had
changed, the world had changed. That’s part of the reason I played all those
games tonight. I knew you were ready for us to be intimate again, and I
couldn’t do that now knowing I wasn’t in love with you anymore. It wouldn’t
have been fair to you or to me, and there are some lines I am just not willing
to cross.”
“So the ends don’t justify the means after all,”
Olivia said quietly.
Ryan nodded sadly. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you,
but I decided that I couldn’t risk it.”
“So what happened? You just woke up one day and
realized that you didn’t love me anymore, is that it?”
“No, nothing like that.” He hesitated, not wanting to
hurt her, especially in front of everyone else, but he had to be completely
honest. “I had fallen in love with someone else without realizing it.”
“Who is it? Do I know her?” Before Ryan could respond
Olivia shook her head angrily. “God, listen to me. Repeating the same pathetic
lines that dumped women always say. None of that matters. This all sounds like
some insane story you invented. I still don’t have any proof you are telling
the truth.”
“Ah, but he is.”
Everyone jerked as the voice rang out from behind
Olivia. A moment later the owner of the voice appeared.
“You!” exclaimed Olivia and Ryan simultaneously.